Sign, Sealed & Misdelivered
Dear Planet Earth,
It’s me, your misunderstood cosmic neighbor—Mercury. Once again, you've decided all your problems are my fault. Classic. The second I hit retrograde, suddenly it’s "Mercury ruined my life!" Meanwhile, I’m just trying to slow down and take a little reset. I believe you earthlings call it…“self care”.
Look—I get it. When I retrograde, things get weird. Emails send themselves. Exes show up like Michael Myers on Halloween. You say the wrong thing at the worst possible time. But maybe—just maybe—that chaos isn’t mine to hold. Maybe I’m not causing the mess. Maybe I’m just giving you a gentle nudge—pushing you toward what you actually want. Out of your cozy little comfort zone and into something real.
I’m the planet of communication, not your personal scapegoat. Don’t shoot the messenger—especially when the messenger is literally me. Honestly? You should be thanking me. You were never going to quit that job on your own.
Your call drops? Call back. Your ex shows up? Block them—again. They’re not back because of some invisible string theory or star-crossed love story. They’re back because they’re directionless and got lost in the time-space continuum. That’s not fate. That’s delusion. Literally block them. Do it now.
This retrograde started in the soft, intuitive waters of Pisces— which means the vibes have been more “emotional audit” than “total breakdown.” But the next one? It’s in Leo. So if you think things feel dramatic now, buckle up, buttercup. Get grounded while the cosmos is still gentle with you.
In the meantime, maybe instead of spiraling about your broken phone or yet another awkward 'you too' after the waitress said 'enjoy your meal' ask yourself: What is this season trying to show me? Where have I been moving too fast? What’s been unsaid? What needs to be released? You know, something actually productive.
Retrograde isn’t here to ruin your life. It’s here to pause it—so you can actually take inventory. (Think of it like the Universe’s tax season. And yes, I do love that it overlaps with yours. Poetic, really.)
And finally, my favorite part of this season: the truth will be revealed. While there’s always a chance of miscommunication, everything unsaid will start bubbling to the surface. Stay vigilant. Trust yourself. Some hidden dynamics in your relationships might come to light. You’re welcome.
I’ll be back to my usual speed by April 7th. But just so we’re clear—there is a shadow period after that. I don’t just vanish quietly. I linger. Like your ex. Only prettier.
Maybe journal. Maybe light a candle. Maybe ignore Earth altogether for a bit. Now leave me be. I must meditate and purge the low-vibrational energy clinging to your overly habitual planet.
Wreaking havoc with love,
Merc
